(Can't say I didn't put myself in a good position to get laid*****...)
If you are one of these pussies that pisses your pants* and is actually scared of movies like Paranormal Activity you can go fuck yourself. I made the mistake of watching that 2 bit POS film and wasted two hours of my life I will never get back** I saw the real demon this weekend and you can too if you choose to medicate with + or - Two and a half FOUR LOKOS*** and K-Pins.
Like Paulk I will not try and very accurately tell the tale of what actually happened at GA/FL because there are many gaps and I don't have many pics of me bc I was usually away from my friends and telling girls I met on the beach how I was a world renowned author that owned a private jet (I go big w/my lies). After many failed attempts at garnering the interest of a naive young lass looking for a good time all of my concoction hit me at once when I had finally got one to bite. I stopped the girl mid-sentence by ssshhing her by putting my finger on her lips, took off my shoes, placed them in her hand and mumbled I'll be right back....I swam laps in the Atlantic and thats the last thing I remember. Chances are if you weren't dressed as an IPOD, the gold tent, or a LOKO and or PBR I don't recall interacting with you.
This all being said GA/FL was a blast. I will not ever mix sedatives w/booze again bc it leads to shame but not as much as being Jewish and eating a fried pork chop and then saying that wasn't my favorite kind of fried chicken...ouch.
Remember The Good Memories****
* Yes I peed my pants
** There were many hrs over last weekend I wish I could get back
***Time travel exists...but it only moves forward as far as I have experienced. Whenever I LOK I always end up Going Back to the Future
**** Even the good memories of B-b-barbara Jeans I threw up bc I ate too much
***** The final tally unfortunately was 3 makeout sesh's. Some heavy petting and one epic J-Smoove'esque thunderblock when I drove the lane weak for the slam dunk
F-U Demon
Booze Lose Repeat...Until Next Year
I too.. am on the no more mixing k-pin and booze bandwagon...especially at work related functions
ReplyDeleteRE: ***** one epic J-Smoove'esque thunderblock when I drove the lane weak for the slam dunk
ReplyDeleteTo Twyne's Cumdumpster, a huge slut.
above comment is correct use of internet hate and internet hate is awesome...to quote Danny Devito from the intervention episode in regards to those who need to stay in the kitchen..."who invited this bitch? she aint funny" hate hate hate. roast me good
ReplyDeletekudos on the loko pic with all the sorostitutes. thumbs down for throwing up barbara jeans deliciousness
ReplyDelete