Wednesday, November 3, 2010

F2DR: Reposted to Protect Friendship, Nothing Else

{Ed. Note: The previous post titled "F2DR Returns/Presents: Shots That Will Get You Drunk: Dublin Street Riot" has been removed and reposted in order to remove the hilarious comments that you, our readers posted.  There were some good ones, comments about how certain parties don't get laid enough (AMEN), how certain girls find the word "hiporker" funny and how they don't even realize yet that that is their new nickname, now and forever, and how other certain girls can't handle a little truth in the face but they always seem to be able to handle a little penis in the ass.  This is not being done for whiny crybabies, this is being done for the goodness and faithfulness of friendship.  For in these troublesome times, one thing you should be able to rely upon is friendship.

The F2DR family of friends apologizes to our readers, fans, internet rights activists, baby Jesus, and most of all to the Constitution, for in deleting away the original comments we have failed all of you.  We moved from Tumblr all those months ago, with a goal of allowing you, the reader, to provide insight and commentary on our pieces.  With that we expected a certain knowledge that we in turn will totally comment on your comment.  I'm reminded of a certain adage, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."  Well, maybe if you can't handle The Internet, you SHOULD stay in the kitchen.  We would like to also point out that no names were revealed with the comments and that anonymity was promised by the fact no names were written and guaranteed by the fact that no one reads this.

A general note to all future crybabies who can't handle The Internet (even if they can handle taking it up the ass multiple times in one night), DON'T MESS WITH THE INTERNET!

Thank you friends and Goodnight.}

F2DR Returns/Presents: Shots That Will Get You Drunk: Dublin Street Riot
Brent has been giddy all day long about how we're going to make a "triumphant" return and tell all 9 of you about our Georgia Fucking Florida Weekend.  That may happen, but to be honest, I'm not the one to tell the story of my weekend, thats for girls with cameras or rapey raccoons to share.  I may try to get around to it in a day or two, but for now I'm bringing you a delicious new shot for you to enjoy and tell all your friends about.
{Ed. Note: Rebecca, Blake already knows about it so don't share it with him.}
Actual photo of a Dublin Street Riot and what your town will look like you will be doing if you drink enough of them.

First, a little background from an original submission I just made to a drink recipe website...
Inventor, origin, where it's popular, anecdotals, descriptions, inspirations, anything to help us feature the drink better.
Me.
My living room. 
Rafter's on St. Simons Island, Georgia.
Taste great, but be careful!
I love bourbon, there aren't too many bourbon shots I can ever remember when I'm out, so its either straight shots of warm well bourbon or drinking jagerbombs with my friends.  
Watching Game 2 of the World Series (Rangers @ Giants), I had a bottle of Jameson and found a bottle of butterscotch schnapps from an old peach pie recipe. After trail and error I found that 3 parts whiskey and 1 part Butterscotch was delicious and smokey and drunk.  
I was making them in a regular shot glass and filling it up, however, the bartenders liked to use a shaker.
The name is inspired by the makers of Jameson themselves, the people of Dublin and their fondness of rioting in the streets.
By now, you likely have out your Jameson Irish Whiskey and are impassively thinking, "I don't have any butterscotch schnapps and I refuse to buy any because its kinda emasculating."  Good point, but allow me to rebuttal that it is not as emasculating as dressing up like this in public...
Shame, boatloads of shame.
...So order a bottle over The Internet or go to a dark part of town where you won't be seen by anyone important and get a bottle!  It tastes great and you will be drunk!  Just remember, don't take any K-pins while drinking these or you will be immediately and painfully remorseful. And shamed.

{Ed. Note: Damn, it has been a while since I've done this and I am still hungover from three days ago.  This post was written poorly by Jason.}


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I Saw the Demon: GA/FL 2010

(Can't say I didn't put myself in a good position to get laid*****...)

If you are one of these pussies that pisses your pants* and is actually scared of movies like Paranormal Activity you can go fuck yourself. I made the mistake of watching that 2 bit POS film and wasted two hours of my life I will never get back** I saw the real demon this weekend and you can too if you choose to medicate with + or - Two and a half FOUR LOKOS*** and K-Pins.

Like Paulk I will not try and very accurately tell the tale of what actually happened at GA/FL because there are many gaps and I don't have many pics of me bc I was usually away from my friends and telling girls I met on the beach how I was a world renowned author that owned a private jet (I go big w/my lies). After many failed attempts at garnering the interest of a naive young lass looking for a good time all of my concoction hit me at once when I had finally got one to bite. I stopped the girl mid-sentence by ssshhing her by putting my finger on her lips, took off my shoes, placed them in her hand and mumbled I'll be right back....I swam laps in the Atlantic and thats the last thing I remember. Chances are if you weren't dressed as an IPOD, the gold tent, or a LOKO and or PBR I don't recall interacting with you.

This all being said GA/FL was a blast. I will not ever mix sedatives w/booze again bc it leads to shame but not as much as being Jewish and eating a fried pork chop and then saying that wasn't my favorite kind of fried chicken...ouch.

Remember The Good Memories****

* Yes I peed my pants
** There were many hrs over last weekend I wish I could get back
***Time travel exists...but it only moves forward as far as I have experienced. Whenever I LOK I always end up Going Back to the Future
**** Even the good memories of B-b-barbara Jeans I threw up bc I ate too much
***** The final tally unfortunately was 3 makeout sesh's. Some heavy petting and one epic J-Smoove'esque thunderblock when I drove the lane weak for the slam dunk

F-U Demon

Booze Lose Repeat...Until Next Year