Wednesday, November 3, 2010

F2DR: Reposted to Protect Friendship, Nothing Else

{Ed. Note: The previous post titled "F2DR Returns/Presents: Shots That Will Get You Drunk: Dublin Street Riot" has been removed and reposted in order to remove the hilarious comments that you, our readers posted.  There were some good ones, comments about how certain parties don't get laid enough (AMEN), how certain girls find the word "hiporker" funny and how they don't even realize yet that that is their new nickname, now and forever, and how other certain girls can't handle a little truth in the face but they always seem to be able to handle a little penis in the ass.  This is not being done for whiny crybabies, this is being done for the goodness and faithfulness of friendship.  For in these troublesome times, one thing you should be able to rely upon is friendship.

The F2DR family of friends apologizes to our readers, fans, internet rights activists, baby Jesus, and most of all to the Constitution, for in deleting away the original comments we have failed all of you.  We moved from Tumblr all those months ago, with a goal of allowing you, the reader, to provide insight and commentary on our pieces.  With that we expected a certain knowledge that we in turn will totally comment on your comment.  I'm reminded of a certain adage, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."  Well, maybe if you can't handle The Internet, you SHOULD stay in the kitchen.  We would like to also point out that no names were revealed with the comments and that anonymity was promised by the fact no names were written and guaranteed by the fact that no one reads this.

A general note to all future crybabies who can't handle The Internet (even if they can handle taking it up the ass multiple times in one night), DON'T MESS WITH THE INTERNET!

Thank you friends and Goodnight.}

F2DR Returns/Presents: Shots That Will Get You Drunk: Dublin Street Riot
Brent has been giddy all day long about how we're going to make a "triumphant" return and tell all 9 of you about our Georgia Fucking Florida Weekend.  That may happen, but to be honest, I'm not the one to tell the story of my weekend, thats for girls with cameras or rapey raccoons to share.  I may try to get around to it in a day or two, but for now I'm bringing you a delicious new shot for you to enjoy and tell all your friends about.
{Ed. Note: Rebecca, Blake already knows about it so don't share it with him.}
Actual photo of a Dublin Street Riot and what your town will look like you will be doing if you drink enough of them.

First, a little background from an original submission I just made to a drink recipe website...
Inventor, origin, where it's popular, anecdotals, descriptions, inspirations, anything to help us feature the drink better.
Me.
My living room. 
Rafter's on St. Simons Island, Georgia.
Taste great, but be careful!
I love bourbon, there aren't too many bourbon shots I can ever remember when I'm out, so its either straight shots of warm well bourbon or drinking jagerbombs with my friends.  
Watching Game 2 of the World Series (Rangers @ Giants), I had a bottle of Jameson and found a bottle of butterscotch schnapps from an old peach pie recipe. After trail and error I found that 3 parts whiskey and 1 part Butterscotch was delicious and smokey and drunk.  
I was making them in a regular shot glass and filling it up, however, the bartenders liked to use a shaker.
The name is inspired by the makers of Jameson themselves, the people of Dublin and their fondness of rioting in the streets.
By now, you likely have out your Jameson Irish Whiskey and are impassively thinking, "I don't have any butterscotch schnapps and I refuse to buy any because its kinda emasculating."  Good point, but allow me to rebuttal that it is not as emasculating as dressing up like this in public...
Shame, boatloads of shame.
...So order a bottle over The Internet or go to a dark part of town where you won't be seen by anyone important and get a bottle!  It tastes great and you will be drunk!  Just remember, don't take any K-pins while drinking these or you will be immediately and painfully remorseful. And shamed.

{Ed. Note: Damn, it has been a while since I've done this and I am still hungover from three days ago.  This post was written poorly by Jason.}


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I Saw the Demon: GA/FL 2010

(Can't say I didn't put myself in a good position to get laid*****...)

If you are one of these pussies that pisses your pants* and is actually scared of movies like Paranormal Activity you can go fuck yourself. I made the mistake of watching that 2 bit POS film and wasted two hours of my life I will never get back** I saw the real demon this weekend and you can too if you choose to medicate with + or - Two and a half FOUR LOKOS*** and K-Pins.

Like Paulk I will not try and very accurately tell the tale of what actually happened at GA/FL because there are many gaps and I don't have many pics of me bc I was usually away from my friends and telling girls I met on the beach how I was a world renowned author that owned a private jet (I go big w/my lies). After many failed attempts at garnering the interest of a naive young lass looking for a good time all of my concoction hit me at once when I had finally got one to bite. I stopped the girl mid-sentence by ssshhing her by putting my finger on her lips, took off my shoes, placed them in her hand and mumbled I'll be right back....I swam laps in the Atlantic and thats the last thing I remember. Chances are if you weren't dressed as an IPOD, the gold tent, or a LOKO and or PBR I don't recall interacting with you.

This all being said GA/FL was a blast. I will not ever mix sedatives w/booze again bc it leads to shame but not as much as being Jewish and eating a fried pork chop and then saying that wasn't my favorite kind of fried chicken...ouch.

Remember The Good Memories****

* Yes I peed my pants
** There were many hrs over last weekend I wish I could get back
***Time travel exists...but it only moves forward as far as I have experienced. Whenever I LOK I always end up Going Back to the Future
**** Even the good memories of B-b-barbara Jeans I threw up bc I ate too much
***** The final tally unfortunately was 3 makeout sesh's. Some heavy petting and one epic J-Smoove'esque thunderblock when I drove the lane weak for the slam dunk

F-U Demon

Booze Lose Repeat...Until Next Year

Monday, September 20, 2010

Beautiful Friend...The End

Alas Fresh4Lifers the day has come. Do not let your hearts be troubled, life moves on and my blogging days aren't over. As any successful artist knows you can't stay the same, you've got to evolve your talent. Thanks for your support and viewership F2DRNation. Free loks for the first three commenters. Blake is buying.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Doing Bad Things is Fun...MONSTER WEEKEND Cont.



(Maybe I shouldn't be able to play video games for like the weekend)



As promised now that I have had time to shake off the stink that was this weekend it is time to recap it.

UGA lost 17-6 why? Because Washauns Hit and Run Dumb ass can't hold onto the football (I really wish he'd have gone to jail at this point). Thanks alot Douche

GT lost 28-25? This is a good thing because I spent the weekend w/Tech Alums and had they not lost to a Div 2 school I wouldn't have survived the weekend...oh wait Kansas is still a Div 1 school they just lost to North Dakota St (an actual Div 2 school) the week before. Hahahaha. Not to mention VA Tech lost to Boise St. (eww) and James Madison (Div 2) back to back weeks. ACC! ACC! ACC! The ACC has no value and should not be an automatic qualifying conference.

The Braves continue to suck

The Cowboys and Lions both lost due to dumbass plays made by former GA Tech Players (Tashard Choice and Calvin Johnson). Gary Guyton did make a nice play in the NE Cincy game.

Now that I've got all the suck out of the way let's talk about what went right and why MONSTER WEEKEND was a success:

Keg Beer! Sweetwater IPA and it's full delicious 7% alcohol per volume flavor to be exact

Four Loko! I've sworn it off 6 times now but let's be realistic raging on lok with friends outside of gas stations and then going bowling only happens when you lok. Good Times

Strippers! Even when they have a clit that is almost the size of your own dick it is fun to get slapped in the face with big, fake titties. Explain that you have no cash. Have them follow you to the ATM. Then demand that whore give you change from your $10 out of her G-string

Taco Cabana! I'm not sure if this was the name of the restaurant or not, but finding $3 on the sidewalk on the walk there and buying and eating a cheese bean burrito for $3.01 and puking it up was well worth it. Deliciousness x 2

Shirtless Walk Home! Apparently this is a rule and so we all walked shirtless back home while dipping. Attempts were made to purchase sex. Friends were lost on accident. And bums were harassed.



MONSTER WEEKEND!!! Only 3 Days Until It's Always Sunny Premiere. Only four days until MONSTER WEEKEND Part Deaux

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Clit Dick, Rampage Loked Up Bowling, Taco Cabana and a shirtless walk home=MONSTER WEEKEND

(The Jesus would never bowl a 31..."8 year olds Dude")

What do you do when your Alma Mater loses a football game? I'll tell you more about it later. More details to come when I'm able to come back to life after this worthless weekend of losses that in some weird way weren't so bad because of friends and booze.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Fresh4Eating: KFC



(It's so Glorious)

This blog was founded upon the principles of bbq,booze, and boobs and it's time we get back to our roots. What better way to do that than by filling your arteries w this

Double Down Nutrition Facts


SandwichCaloriesFat (g)Sodium (mg)
KFC Original Recipe® Double Down540321380
KFC Grilled Double Down460231430

That's right baby, the KFC Double Down Sandwich!

If you haven't treated yourself to one of these most delish beasts of mans own creation do yourself a favor and crush your face with one tomorrow. As the new KFC commercial states "today is the day I Double Down!" When I ordered my double-down sandwich today I shouted the aforementioned sentence to the cashier. The kind lady giggled, told me how good the sandwich was and... in standard KFC employee form managed to F'up my order. The situation was promptly remedied and my double-slice of fried chicken Heaven delivered a taste-gasm not akin to anything else on this planet.



(It's Imperative to eat this "sandwich" w/anger and force)

The Bible says that there will be a feast prepared for all believers. A banquet/buffet I imagine. The KFC Double-Down Sandwich will undoubtedly be on the menu.

Review:


Location- 2/5 cans
Service- 1/5 cans
Taste/Quality- 5/5 cans

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Hook Brings You Back

(I'm eating the other stuff before I eat the meat)

I want to apologize to those readers who were subjected to Capt. Krunks failed attempt at internet stardom. I assure you it wont happen again. I have faith in him as a fellow member of the pen15 club (the writers guild) but he still has some learning to do. On to the meat... (Anyone else eat all the vegetables and other items on their plate and save the meat for last?...this is not rhetorical I really want to know)

It is currently 4:09 PM and if you are in your car and not listening to Dave FM (92.9 on the dial) you are doing yourself and the entire city of Atlanta a huge disservice. I'm unfamiliar with whom the drivetime dj is over at Dave, I'm sure it's listed on their website...due to time restrictions (aka a 4:45 showing of Machete!) I'm not going to look it up. Bottom line is whoever it is, is somehow tapped into my brain and plays the music I want to hear, exactly when I want to hear it. For example the other day I switched over to Dave FM around 5:3o PM and I heard a live version of the Counting Crowes "Hanging Around" followed immediately by Blues Traveler "The Hook"...these songs are staples on my drunken Youtube College Playlist.

Times Up. Going to see Machete. Listen to Dave on Lok...or just get loked and get on Youtube