Tuesday, July 20, 2010

F2DR Movie Review: The Client List (Lifetime Movie)




"And then the magazines trick women, the magazines start picking at your self esteem. Every page you turn to you start feeling fatter and uglier, and you feel like your clothes aren't good enough. And the magazines have you forgetting how beautiful you are. That's what happens... and then YOU forget how beautiful you are and we ALL suffer. If pussy was a stock...it would be plummeting right now because you flooded the market with it, you're giving it away too easy. I'm just being truthful. I'm just talking. It would plummet... You'd be watching the news, "today pussy plummeted again on the Nasdaq...gold is up 6%"." -Dave Chappelle, from Killin' Them Softly

This quote popped into my head as I was stewing over the conclusion of Lifetimes The Client List starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. The reason why I was one of only a hand full of males that made up the 3.9 million viewers of this cinematic travesty is not important (I watch Professional Wrestling on Monday nights and... last nights episode of WWE Raw was slow, and somewhere during the course of my channel surfing I stumbled upon this train wreck gem...so what, I judge myself). What I'm about to say is, so listen up! (ladies specifically)

Lifetime Movies Aren't Real!!!

They are in fact make believe. Sorry ladies but if you start sexing it up all over the place and your name is NOT Jennifer Love Hewitt we (guys) Won't take you back. This applies no matter what stage of the relationship we are in, if we are even remotely involved then your ass is grass. That's just the way it is. Us guys find it a lot easier to severe all ties completely if a slut demon cheats on us. For some reason though if you catch us cheating, more often than not you are willing to give us a second chance because of love??? I'm sorry but you cannot love my penis as well as Jims,Joes,J-Bones, and the checkout guy from Kroger...just aint happenin.

This is the kind of BS that Lifetime and Vampires/Werewolves put into females brains. At the end of The Client List Jennifer Love Hewitts husband takes her back and she becomes a hero to the women whose husbands she fornicated with by giving them "pointers"...yeah right. I'm sorry but if J-Love herself were to cheat on me with over 100 other dudes I would be inclined to get medieval on her ass by patronizing this website.

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